Our love is a heartbreaker
by YouWishICare
Summary: Your drug is a heart breaker, my love is a life taker. But somehow, that's alright.


Disclaimer: I do not own bleach nor their characters.

A/N: Title part of the song 'Say it ain't so' by weezer. :P Yaya..listing to it while I made this.

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Forgiveness is something you have to learn when being in a relationship. Without it, you tend to fall apart and it's one of the many foundations we, as humans, seem to forget. Especially when you're stubborn as we are. But somehow, it tends to fall into place just when you need it.

I sat on the edge of the bed, back facing towards her. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed angrily, looking back. She was curled up by the headboard, eyes glaring hatefully at me, her chin pressed to her knees that were tucked up by her chest. Her arms wrapped securely around herself.

No body talked, because talking just turned into screaming with the two of us. We had been yelling over one another for hours, not even bothering to listen to what the other had to say. Fighting a loosing battle on both ends, but neither giving in.

We were both stubborn that way, I suppose.

"Why do you always go?" Soi asked, her voice soft, but I could tell by the way she was looking at me that she was only trying to calm down for the sake of herself. She looked like she wanted to claw my eyes out.

I looked down, closing my eyes in exasperation. I was going to yell again, I could feel it burning in my throat but I swallowed hard, and forced myself to listen. "Soi..."

"No!" She yelled and threw the pillow on the bed at me. It hit me in the back of my head and I punched the mattress, shaking it and gave her a despised glare from over my shoulder. "You leave and don't come back until god knows when in the morning!" she threw another pillow and I bit down on my tongue, "Where the hell are you all the time Yoruichi! I just want to know!"

"I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I TELL YOU! So back off! It's not your buisness." I yell. God help me, I love her, but it's times like these..

"It's every part of my business!" I could see the tears in her eyes again. She looked over at the clock. "It's-It's three in the morning Yoruichi! I stayed up all night waiting for you! This has been going on for over a month!" She breathed in deep to stop the tears threatening to fall. "I just want to know where you are.."

I turn around to face her. She's on her knees, nothing but an oversized t-shirt on, her hair a tangled mess on her head. Tear's streamed down her face leaving marks and her cheeks were blotched red in some areas from crying.

But me? I made a stone face. My mouth pressed into a thin line, golden eyes narrowing, I clenched and unclenched my fist, trying to regain control of both myself and the situation.

"Are you cheating on me..?" She whimpers, the most disbelieving look in her eyes and my heart clenched, my frown faltering for a moment.

I was in shock.

When I didn't answer, she must have taken that as a yes, and she stood from the bed. Grabbing a duffel out the closet, she began shoving clothes in there.

"Where are you going?" I ask her, my tone hard.

"Leaving." She told me and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Don't go, Soi." I tell her and yank one of her clothing items out the bag, but she simply picked it back up and shoved it back in. I pulled another out and she placed it back again, "Soi!" I yell and grab the duffel bag, chucking it across the room, it's content's spilling over the bedroom floor.

She sat motionless for a minute and I looked down at her. Soon, she got from her seating on the floor and walked over to where the bag ones and began filling it up again once more. I watched in utter shock. She wasn't serious? Was she? Was she really going to leave me?

My stomach churned and I panicked. I didn't want to think of the answer.

I watched her get up and sling the bag over her shoulder.

"I'll come back for my other stuff." She said, her voice hard and hitting like a whip. I winced and watched her walk past me.

Heart, don't fail me now, I pray and run after her.

I heard the door open to my apartment, the squeak now pounding at my ears. I'm terrified, but I pursue.

I grab her arm just as she yanks the door fully open. Grabbing her away, I knew I grabbed a little too tightly. I tossed her bag to the ground and shoved the door closed, the sound re-vibrating through the walls.

"Shaolin!" I yell at her.

She smacks me.

I felt my head bounce, my face burning and my breath comes out in uneven puffs.

"Don't you _Shaolin_ me, you prick!" She growls, "How dare you-you come here at some ungodly hour of the day for a month, I ask if you cheat on me and I don't get an answer. What am I supposed to think Yoruichi? I'm leaving. Don't you man-handle me like that EVER AGAIN!"

It was then I knew that the situation was serious. I didn't want her to leave. I needed her to stay. I needed Soi. That physical and emotional bond we shared. I loved her.

"Soi, stay, please.." I pleaded, "I need you." I grabbed at her shirt, my hand was limp. God, please don't let her leave me. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I-I'm sorry!" Why hadn't I said this sooner? Damn my pride.

She yanked herself away from me. "Burn in hell."

I was at my wits end, to use my last resort.

Grabbing her, I pulled her back away from the door. Her back slammed against the thick plastic wood of its frame and I saw her wince. Grabbing both her hands, I raised them above her head. She was struggling against me, but I was stronger, taller. Tilting her face as much as she allowed without my hurting her, I bent down and kissed her. It wasn't a gentle kiss. It wasn't soft, or caressing. My hands weren't slow and cautious, taking time with her, feeling every inch of her soft and pale skin. It was rough and desperate, aggressive and filled the silence with emotions. She kicked at me but I only shoved her against the door even more, the feel of its coldness burned through her shirt. I know, because I could feel it icing my bones when my hand found it to steady myself.

Soon, I found her without resistance, but tears streaming down her face. She was angry with me. She hated me and I couldn't blame her. Right now, I didn't like myself that much either.

Before I knew it, I found that I had freed her hands, but they were clawing at me in lust and anger, scratching my skin, making me bleed. Her teeth had left bruising marks on my neck, and I was sure by how tightly I gripped her, she would be sporting bruises of her own.

The night was chill against our burning bodies from pent up emotions and arousal all at once. She looked at me once during the entire time we had been pressed against that door and her eyes screamed at me. They screamed at me.

We had barely made it to the bed when it became too much to stand on our own. Clothes were discarded on the floor leading a trail to the bedroom. By the time we reached the bed, we were both naked as the day we were born.

I shoved her down, my need to be in control of the situation taking over again, and my desperation to keep her swallowing my heart and numbing it.

My teeth nipped hard at the erected nipple from the chill of the night air. She yelped in pain, and my long nails dug into her skin, blemishing her beautiful complexion. Her teeth bit roughly at my shoulder, her knee digging painfully into my groin.

Our bodies moved together in an nonrhythmic pace, red marks streaked our skin, and our moans came out as little more than gasps. Because tonight, we didn't have sex to please. We had sex to hurt one another, and to show how much we hurt the other in return.

I woke up the next day to find Soi sleeping soundly next to me, her back was turned to me and I frowned upon seeing the marks I had left. She was bruised almost everywhere, and the welts on her back were clearly visible.

I winced when I sat up and realized I had been sleeping on my back. I looked down and small dots of blood decorated the sheets. I had a feeling these would be there for awhile. Looking down I had never felt so ashamed of myself, of what I had done. I had practically raped her. God I was so fucking disgusting!

My lips pressed into a thin line. She was going to leave me now. When she woke up, I was certain she would leave me.

I felt a rustling beside me when she stirred. Now it was time to face the situation we had so ungracefully avoided last night. My face in my palms, my heart clenched painfully in my chest.

She rolled over and looked at me. That was enough to send me over the edge, and I cried. "Yoruichi?" She replied groggily and sat up in the bed. She winced like I did and checked her body. Looking down, she shook her head and touched her arm, the bruises still fresh from last night.

"I'm so...sorry." I mumbled between breaths and tears.

She just looked at me, unmoving. Her eyes were softer now, not filled with hate like the night before.

"The reason I keep..I keep coming in late.." I gasped for air and tried to slow my crying. When I finally had control over myself, I closed my eyes and wiped the rest of my tears away. "It's because I'd been with my father."

She cocked her head to the side, but she didn't touch me or get any closer but I wanted her to. I needed that physical connection to know she was still here with me.

"My father..he has me running errands all around the town. Doing odd jobs." I gave her a pitiful look. She must have seen my voulnerability, and hesitantly, as if nothing had happened last night, scooted closer to me and grabbed my hand. "I can't tell him no!" I tried to explain and threw my hand into the air in exasperation, "If I don't listen to him he's gonna take away my inheritance. Do you know how much money that is? We can live comfortably well into old age!" she gave me this stare that I couldn't quite place and I suddenly found it harder to speak, "I-I mean..if you want to stay with me." I cringed, "After last night..."

I was silenced by a kiss. It was soft, hesitant and unexpected. She had let me explain then she had kissed me. Why wasn't she leaving? She should have left me. I'm a no good, spoiled rotten, tactless child just like my father said.

When she pulled away, I saw that she was crying too. She brought her hand up and brushed the backs of her fingers against my cheek. Her hands were cold and I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes.

"I love you Soi." I told her and wrapped my arms around her. I needed her near me. To feel her near me.

"I love you too, Yoruichi." She whispered so silently I almost couldn't hear it. "Thank you for telling me the truth." Then she pulled away, almost panicked as if I had warped into a demon. "This is the truth right?"

I climbed from underneath the comforter, not ashamed at all at my nakedness as we both were and I bowed forward, hands clasped together, so unlike me to plead for forgiveness, and placed my head in her lap. "It's the truth, I swear." I felt her fingers graze along her scratches she left on my body. We both looked pretty beat up. "I should have told you last night. But I didn't want you worrying..because..you know how he is." I shook my head and whispered, "That's no excuse.."

She gave such a sad smile, so beautifully tragic, and touched my arm. She didn't need to say it, her expression was enough.

"Thank you." I whisper and bury my face into her, her stroking my hair and me caressing the wounds I left her. Kissing them as if trying to heal her, "Thank you."

Forgiveness is something you have to learn when being in a relationship. Without it, you tend to fall apart and it's one of the many foundations we, as humans, seem to forget. Especially when you're stubborn as we are. But somehow, it tends to fall into place just when you need it.

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R&R


End file.
